Silver Linings

Have you ever thrown yourself into something and worked really hard but failed to achieve your goal? Even if you are pretty good at handling a loss, it is The Big Suck to throw all your effort and energy into something that doesn’t pan out.

Well, I just got my hat handed to me after spending the better part of a year working my heinie off. Of course, I am bummed. On top of that, I am not satisfied that the matter in question was as thoroughly evaluated as it deserved to be. So I am REALLY bummed. But after a couple of mourning margaritas last night in honor of this turn of events, I have, at least for awhile, stopped focusing on the matter itself and started focusing instead on the positives that came out of this past year of effort.

I have learned a ton. And not just about the various issue areas that were involved. I got some fantastic experience in community organizing, starting and managing an organization, leading a team, public relations, fundraising. I learned a lot about my own management and leadership style…well, I mostly learned about the weaknesses of my style, but since I am focusing on the positive I will instead rephrase it as ‘I discovered areas for improvement in my approach to managing and leading’. I learned that I can, in fact, Do It All (although only for short periods of time and not without consequences to myself and my family).

If I have to choose the most important personal lesson from this experience, it would be that it is imperative for me to learn how to say no and place strict limits on how much I commit to beyond family and work obligations. A close second is the necessity for me to be more balanced and realistic about how much I try to accomplish overall. I have mastered The Art of Half-Assing, now I think the key to happiness is lowering my expectations.

I’ve met lots of interesting, passionate people who work hard in various ways to make the world a better place. I’ve met lots of neighbors I didn’t know before. Many, many people were extraordinarily supportive and helpful as I muddled through an unfamiliar situation. People believed in me and trusted in my abilities and leadership. I am even grateful for the people who threw stones – there’s alot to be said for trying to understand why people don’t agree with you. Not only do you stand a good chance of learning something, but we can all use regular practice exercising patience and restraint and deliberately reminding ourselves that ours isn’t the only legitimate perspective out there.

So, yeah – it sucks to take a hit. But I wouldn’t trade what I went through to get to this point. I don’t plan to do it quite the same way again, but I have a lot of really positive personal take-away.